And What You Can Do About It

Image by Tafilah Yusof from Pixaby

If there was an anorexia of romantic relationships, I would be in recovery. For my romantic life, I have largely subsisted on the crumbs of love. I have settled for little bites of affection or the occasional buffet of over the top romance, immediately followed by a strict diet of tiny morsels of like or love.

I see it all around and I’m not the only one with a romantic consumption dis-order, either. …

I always had these preconceived notions about divorce and I was so wrong.

Image by Steve Buissinne from Pixaby:

Namely, it had to be a like a movie that was filled with lots of screaming, telling everyone what a psycho asshole your ex is and conducting the dreaded exercise of splitting common friends. I believed it would be like The Wedding Crashers, where we had to fight about airline miles and yell at each other about sleeping with the personal trainer or physical therapist. My personal experience with divorce was limited to a few friends, my parents’ failed attempt and a healthy dose of Hollywood dramatizations, leaving me with little basis for reality. My robust imagination definitely painted a…

Image from Jon Tyson:

Like many first dates, you start with high hopes and a sense of optimism that things will be great, or at least not horrible. My first appointment with my new dentist was no different. I was optimistic and feeling good, since he was the friend of a friend, and I knew him. I had dined with his wife and even commiserated with them over food allergies. What could possibly go wrong, right?

Like imaginary Brad would be late for our date, Dr. Carl was late for our appointment. He drove into the parking lot like he just evaded police and…

Back in January, I wrote a pre-COVID piece about some of the myths of self-care. That was before all my mandatory alone time and before most of the social aspects of my life pressed pause. Despite all the challenges COVID has introduced, it presented a huge gift to me. This time alone has allowed me the space to face my own traumas, unproductive behaviors and patterns.

Call it the retrograde planets, eclipses, or blame it on the rain (see what I did there), but our collective society has been forced to come face to face with our old coping mechanisms…

Happy dog lays on the black sand beach, right before sunset, in the golden hour.
Happy dog lays on the black sand beach, right before sunset, in the golden hour.
Photo Credit: Cathy Kading

As a recovering co-dependent, I have historically struggled with boundaries and saying what I want. Along my healing journey, I have spent years learning mindfulness, meditating and generally trying to be more present in my life. Who knew that all along, I’ve lived with my own non-verbal, and slightly neurotic Yoda. For over a decade, my dog has been teaching me about boundaries and expressing my needs, but it’s only recently I paid enough attention to appreciate them.

Disclaimer & Trigger Warning: Harsh language included. This article is for white and white-passing people, wanting to take action and may or may not be doing their anti-racism work, or aren’t sure where to start. Hopefully by the time you finish this, you will learn something, but more importantly, you will DO something. If you only have a few minutes, scroll to the bottom for resources to start your own work. Black or Indigenous People of Color (BIPOC) are welcome, but some content may be triggering, so take care.

Art from the badass Brette Sims

There is this phrase in Spanish that goes “La gota que…

How many of you have told yourselves this before? “I’m not a this,” or “I’m not a that.” It doesn’t matter what it was, but you filled in the blank with any number of things. Athlete, cook, drummer, marathoner, or whatever else you decided to talk yourself out of calling yourself. Even worse, how many of you have had someone tell you that you weren’t a [blank]? The trouble is that whatever filled that blank, has probably been with you a while. …

I have been single over a year now and there’s nothing like being ready to date, only to be thrust into a global pandemic, to thwart your progress. I chat with many of my single friends and they lament not being able to go on dates and meet people, held back by the constraints of physical distancing rules and curfews. All the typical things we associate with dating and being single seem to be lost, but I have a different perspective on the impact of Covid-19, on my own dating life. Sure, those things are wonderful, but they don’t always…

I was listening to Esther Perel’s Covid-19 series, called “Love, Loss, and Lonliness Under the Lockdown,” and she referred to this time of Covid, as “The Great Adaptation.” Running solo during this epidemic has been eye opening and educational in so many ways, but her series helped crystalize my perspective. Here are three of my biggest takeaways from the past 8 weeks of lockdown.

Being Alone Isn’t Bad

Being alone is a good thing, and quiet and solitude are great teachers. Jung, Thoreau and Marcus Aurelius all knew the power of these, even when juxtaposed to a busy and demanding life. I used to…

Today, it’s impossible escape the term self care, but what does it really mean? Many definitions exist and anyone selling anything, wants you to believe their product is integral to your self care routine. With all the “Insta-fabulous” self care inspirations out there, it feels like something reserved for the privileged and wealthy. When I first started my healing journey, I was quickly overwhelmed, so I created my own definition of what it was and was not. Here are 7 common myths I found about self care, debunked.

Self care costs (a LOT of) money — Retailers, beauty brands and…

Cathy Kading

Corporate Hippy, Real Food Nut & Karaoke Animal

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